On My Conviction

I accepted Christ when I was around five years of age. As I watched a movie about the Revelation with my parents, I asked them what was happening. They told me that the movie was about the future and proceeded to explain the rapture. They then told me about God and how He loves me. They told me, if I had faith that Christ came to earth to die on the cross for my sins, that I would spend eternity with Him (John 3:16). I attempted to understand as much as I could for a five year old. However, since I was five, I could only comprehend so much. I believed in Christ, but I did not understand how this knowledge would affect my life.

About ten years went by, and the ignorance of my faith continued to persist, until one day when my Youth Pastor mentioned how one’s faith should be real in his life. He said that I should not consider my faith as a religion, but as an intimate relationship with God. This had been told to me before and had always gone in one ear and then out the other, yet this time it stuck. I came to reality with my faith. I pondered this, and found it intriguing to think that God wishes to have a personal connection with me. The very same God that created everything; the universe, matter, thought, reason, and my very soul itself. He knows who I am and loves me in spite of the sin that corrupts my life. John 3:16 begins with, "For God so loved the world". The thought that God can love a corrupted human race that deserves death is amazing! I opened my Bible and began to read about salvation. I discovered that by God’s great love, I have been born again, and through this, my spirit has been made alive with Christ; I learned that it is by his grace, that I am saved (John 3:5-6; Ephesians 2:4-5). I then realized that all my life I was trying to live up to certain expectations in order to please God and yet continued to fail. I then lost hope, thinking that God would never be pleased with me. I then put on a facade, telling everyone that I was fine, even convincing myself. Yet, I remained in my despair. Grace, it is by His grace! If I were perfect, I would not need grace. God loves me despite my failure. With this new perspective on my life, I re-examined my faith.

I asked myself whether not my faith was indeed a real part of my life. As a Christian, was I behaving any differently than I had as a non-believer? If not, then not only was my faith not influencing my life, but I was atrophying spiritually. I decided to put a stop to this. I knew that I should desire to be different, for if I truly love Christ, I should have a passion to emulate him, not the world. At that moment, I rededicated my life to Christ. I would from then on seek God with all my heart and devote my life to Him. I prayed that God would continually increase my passion to fill even the minute capacity that I have for the knowledge of Him and that He would increase my capacity for it. I would seek after his divine goodness, truth, and beauty. I vowed to be wholly dependant upon Him and to allow Him to have absolute reign in my heart.

My attitude towards life was greatly influenced by 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So, run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified”. It showed me that I must live my life as if I were in a race and continue to discipline myself, so that I will not lose the eternity with God that I seek to obtain. I continually pray that God would guide me in my seeking of Him and that He would continue to give me the strength, wisdom, and guidance to enable my logic and reason to rule my desires and passions through the heart that I have submitted to Him.

-Brian

A Dying Art

A rolling of the eyes, a sigh of disgust, a disengagement of interest; these are a few responses that will often be received when the passion of his/her faith amongst his/her friends. When questions that entail deep thought are asked, quick and short answers are given so that the conversation may continue in a more "interesting" and "exciting" manner. A sad truth is that these are not given only by non-Christians, but they are far too often given by fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Too many Christians look down upon these men and women for attempting to hold an edifying and important conversation. They are regarded as, "annoying" and/or "boring".

Christians claim to be seeking God, and yet turn the other way when serious contemplation is involved. They believe that to seek God is easy or at least something that doesn't involve one's intellect. If "seeks God" by trying not to mess up as best as possible so he/she can get to Heaven, then he/she has the wrong perspective. If he has a sincere passion to be intimate with God, he will desire to emulate Christ in all he does. What does intimacy with God mean? Intimacy means to be close, dear or personal. When one is Intimate with God, he desires to know God by being personal, dear, and personal with Him. This is not an easy feat; for no one can fully understand God. If the anchient philosophers must wrestle with their knowledge of God and admit that they know a mere handful of who He is, then how can a generation that detests understanding ever hope to be Intimate with Him. Our culture is content to remain where it is.

One must understand that his passion to learn of God is born when he asks God to set his heart to seek after Him. With this passion, he will gradually see the joy in understanding; for with it, one may learn a bit of who God is. He is given a new perspective on creation, for he now sees it as a beautiful creation reflecting the majesty and loving care of our Heavenly Father.

May the Lord find favor in those who truly seek Him. May He set ablaze those who are no longer content to remain a tiny flicker of flame for His name. May the Lord turn these fading cinders into a raging fire to impact the world for Christ! Ah, as we continue our journey in this dying art of contemplation and the seeking of goodness, truth, and beauty, may the Lord make our desire to fill even our minute capacity for the understanding of God be truly passionate and may it ever increase. May the Lord inspire our desires of our stomach to develop the intelligence of our minds with a true heart to submit ourselves to the majesty of the true king of all things! Amen!

-Brian

Failure

The word "fail" tends to bring a negative feeling to our thoughts. When we discover our failure, we cringe and try to make excuses for why we are not at fault. Why must we make believe that we are perfect? Our self-pride builds a defensive wall against the truth. Pride tries to induce us with a false illusion of our self-righteousness. One’s faults are considered a mere reaction to a society that has treated him badly. Our society excuses this attitude due to an outside factor. When God eliminates a man's self-pride, he is grateful to be made aware of his faults, for he is then able to bring them before God.

When one says, "I have failed", he is really saying that he has not met a certain standard that has been set over him. To fail is to be human, for it is man’s human nature to sin; yet this is not how God intended us to live. God made us to be in constant communion with Him, without sin. The sin of Adam and Eve caused the fall of man and the separation between God and his creation; yet, through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, communion with God has been restored to those who believe in Him. We strive to be like Christ, and yet our sinful nature places our priorities out of order. We place our desires and aversions over our dependence and trust in God.

When one struggles with a sin, he tends to become a slave to it. He asks, “Why is it that when I try to seek God, I can’t fix my corruption?” this question almost answers itself. The answer is that we cannot fix our own corruption. Only God may has the power and righteousness to do this. When we try on our own, we will fail; for when we are apart from God, it is our nature to be corrupt. We must allow God to work though us to fix the problem.

We must be in constant fellowship with God. When our focus and trust is turned to ourselves, we are hopeless to stand against sin. God must give us the power and strength to stand strong in Him against temptation.

May we set aside our pride and admit our faults. We must realize that it is futile to attempt to correct our corruption on our own. Know that all that is good comes from God. Allow Him to work in and through you.

My God, I pray that you would help us to seek you in all that we do. May we be in constant reminder of your awesomeness in all of creation. May we be fascinated even by the smallest of your creations, for in them we find such a complex and intricate design and become even more overwhelmed with the more majestic. Thank you for giving us eyes to see this earthly reflection of your perfect goodness, truth, and beauty. God navigate our minds as we think together. May you be praised in all that we do.

God bless you as you continue to be led by him. Seek his face! May you live your faith in the body of Christ and make it personal. Be real in all that you do and continue to remove the masks that hide your true self. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord God Almighty. Do all this with humility, for you may do nothing on your own. May all this be done in Christ and for his glory. God Bless!

-Brian

The Confessions of Saint Augustine

Great art Thou, O Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is Thy power, and Thy wisdom infinite. And Thee would man praise; man, but a particle of Thy creation; man, that bears about him his mortality, the witness of his sin, the witness that Thou resistest the proud: yet would man praise Thee; he, but a particle of Thy creation. Thou awakest us to delight in Thy praise; for Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee. Grant me, Lord, to know and understand which is first, to call on Thee or to praise Thee? and, again, to know Thee or to call on Thee? for who can call on Thee, not knowing Thee? for he that knoweth Thee not, may call on Thee as other than Thou art. Or, is it rather, that we call on Thee that we may know Thee? but how shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? or how shall they believe without a preacher? and they that seek the Lord shall praise Him: for they that seek shall find Him, and they that find shall praise Him. I will seek Thee, Lord, by calling on Thee; and will call on Thee, believing in Thee; for to us hast Thou been preached. My faith, Lord, shall call on Thee, which Thou hast given me, wherewith Thou hast inspired me, through the Incarnation of Thy Son, through the ministry of the Preacher.

-Saint Augustine