The Devoted Reflections

2011-10-26T09:01:00.001-07:00

This is a test.

A Mural Dilemma

2010-04-25T03:00:00.000-07:00

Although the conversation about Biola's Jesus mural is supposed to encourage unity and racial reconciliation within the Biola community, it may result in further division. If the mural is left up, people will be oppressed, but if it is taken down, others will be angry at the former for destroying a beautiful part of Biola's history. Although this conversation highlights a genuine tension in the Biola community, it is acting as a lightning rod for a much larger conversation. It is that many ethnic groups on Biola's campus are feeling oppressed.

Most chapels I have attended on racial reconciliation at Biola University make me feel sad for being a majority. I often feel guilty and want to think less of myself. I often feel stereotyped. The more I think about it, the more I realize that this is due to a lack of understanding on my part of the issue at hand. It is because I haven't understood what the speakers are really trying to say. Until last semester I thought I (being lumped in with my specific culture) was being accused of hate toward other cultures; this isn't necessarily the case. I think the issue at hand is that, being a very modern and westernized culture, a majority of Biola is being insensitive to other cultures. Rather than accepting them for who they are we expect them to conform to our way of thinking, interacting, eating, worshiping, etc. Although a majority of American is very western, this is pretty arrogant.

This is very different from the hateful racism of previous years (though there are similarities), for it is often insensitivity done out of ignorance. Although it can escalade into blatant racism, most students I talk to want to love our fellow brothers and sisters of Biola. Most of the students I talk to are aware that there is a tension, but can't figure out what it is or how to resolve it. I too would love to learn how to better love my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Although discussions about the Jesus mural are important, Biola must first be informed lovingly and articulately as to what the cultural tension is on campus, otherwise its result will be greater tension. Biola must find a way celebrate the intrinsic beauty of each and every culture together while not discrediting the beauty in the majority culture. Such a community is like a breathtaking symphony. Although its distinct notes are beautiful in and of themselves, when put together they cast an array of beauty that envelopes the soul of the hearer. We must envelope the souls of those who observe our community in the love of Christ through harmonious diversity.

The Battle of Mind and Passion (revised at 4 AM...soo I'll edit it later. haha)

2010-02-28T04:28:00.000-08:00

While racing home upon the foam of ocean down below,

two captains share a single ship and on it they must go.

The first steers hard, the other's sparred; the helm's pulled to and fro.

A captain red, a captain blue, upon the sea they go.

Their ship it be a'sailing free across the ocean vast.

And all the while the captains are a'warring near the mast.

The ship a'tossed, the captains lost, the time for peace has past.

A captain red, a captain blue, assailing near the mast.

The man of blue, whom always knew the wildly ways of red,

held up his hands to bid him, "Cease!" or else they'd both be dead.

Their powers clash, their tempers flash, his plea unseen by red.

A captain red, a captain blue, whom always rue the dead

Unsheathing swords they're leaping boards and swearing as they chide.

Each hopes to land the other with a flesh wound in the side.

The helm unmanned, the crew disband, the ship floats with the tide

A captain red, a captain blue, are leaping near the side.

A gentle man, the bluish man; a thinker stark and true.

Maliciously the other has a'run this fellow through.

The sea's received, the man aggrieved, the gentle man in blue.

A captain red, a captain blue, the bluish man run through.

The red man lives and from him gives both passions wild and free

to every man he's come across; and that means you and me.

In every man are captains strong; both blue and red they be.

Control the two, the red and blue, and then you can be free.

My rough draft introduction to, Defining a Hero.

2010-02-22T08:54:00.000-08:00

Today I would like to ask the question, "What is it that makes a man a hero?" Is it his actions, his words, his deeds? If so, who determines which actions, words, or deeds are to be considered good? To one man a certain action may be good, whereas to another it may be perilous. For example, if an American soldier had subdued Hitler and consequently ended the war, the Allied forces (America, Britain, etc.) would have hailed him as a hero, whereas the Axis (Germany, Japan, etc.) may have considered this man the world's greatest villain. This is because of cultural perspective. A group of men will call a man a hero if he can uphold the standards and values of the society to an extent that others would or could not be able to do in the same situation. Although this may be an accurate description of a hero, it seems insufficient. His actions may be out of the reach of the ordinary man, but does he merit the title of hero? To be considered a hero, it seems that he must exemplify some sort of self-sacrifice. The man in the example is considered a hero to the Americans not because he was lucky and therefore able to end the war, but put his life in harms way in order to save millions of lives. This self-sacrifice causes him to stand out against other men as a hero. However, he is only a hero to those who share his worldview. Great men are defined in history by the stronger society. If this is true, then heroes are subject to the worldview or moral values of the strongest culture. However, one must ask if this is always the case. Is heroism a relative definition determined by each culture individually or are there objective cross-cultural qualifications that define it?

The Three-Dimensional Bride of Christ (written at 3AM, sooo, will edit later. haha)

2010-01-24T03:09:00.000-08:00

If the Church is to manifest Christ to the world at large, then she is charged to exemplify the heart and will of Christ every minute of every day. In her, God's goodness, truth, and beauty is seen in flesh; the Bride of Christ, breathing the gospel of life. She is a beautiful congregation filled with the spectrum of His image. Yet she is slowly becoming like a painting on the wall. As she falls into two-dimension, she becomes more a beauty to behold than the living human being she was meant to be.

Oh beloved of God awake! Step out of your horizontal canvas and walk into the world about you. Have the will to engage your fellowman with a heart of God so that they might hear and be added amongst you. The world is in dying need of the healing breath you breathe. The living breath of God given to you by the will of the Father, the work of the Son, and the Spirit's power. You are the blessed of God; the bride He sanctified out of love.

My heart is so often touched and burdened by the suffering of others and yet my will to act remains unmoved. So often I become more like a two-dimensional picture of Christ, both knowing how to act and having a heart that wants to do so, but I lack the will to share this love with others. When asked for a favor I will often reply, "I don't want to." In saying that, I have said that my wants are more important than my loving that person. Of course there are times where I cannot do a favor that I've been asked and sometimes the person doesn't really need my help, but there are often times of selfishness that cause me to say no. It is so odd to think of the stark contrast when adding a single dimension to a painting; it can make a portrait a sculpture. We, as christians are called to be living sculptures of Christ to the world. By God's perfect grace and the power of the Spirit, we may do so. :)

Oh Lord, help me to set aside my pride and love others in humility. Let me exemplify your heart and your will to love others as you would. May my life be always first and foremost be dedicated to you in everything that I do.

(Picture from: http://www.lib-art.com/artgallery/5728-charity-hope-faith-christian-daniel-rauch.html)

A Response to God's Glory in Light of Romans.

2009-06-06T00:49:00.001-07:00

O Heavenly Father, protect me from the most wicked speed and haste of this world. Slow my mind so that I may contemplate that which is of you. Captivate me with the revelation of your righteousness, given through the saving power of your gospel. Lord, may I never be ashamed of your almighty word, for it puts to shame the wisdom of the wise. Give me prudence in speech that I may honor you; not to magnify my own worth, but to exalt you in love. This I ask of you, for I am overwhelmed by who you are and what you have done for me despite my wickedness.

O reader, I have done wrong in the presence of one almighty and yet He has sent His Son bearing life everlasting. By His grace I have been saved through faith. What is this, that a king would die for me? Every king of this world would sentence me to death and yet He has adopted me through His Son. He has baptized me into the death and resurrection of His Son by His Spirit and set me free from sin! I have been brought from death to life by Him for I am under grace. When I foresaw death in my bondage to sin, God saw life in my unity with His Son. O glorious day, for I have been restored and made new. Praise be to God Almighty!

O my beautiful savior, be praised forever! Forever may my life be lived in obedience to your word out of love for you. Guide me by your Spirit in the teachings of your holy Scripture, for I am yours. In this I take my greatest comfort, that I am not my own but I belong to you, O God Almighty.

"To the only wise God be glory forevermore through Jesus Christ! Amen"

A random allagory in light of this past year that I wrote before I begin re-writing my entire semester. haha. :)

2009-06-06T00:48:00.001-07:00

Ah what trials come my way. They boast of their own magnitude and revel in my inadequacy. With shrew hands they grip me. With vigorous strength they attempt to force me on my knees and yet I remain unmoved. Infuriated, they increase their force by magnifying their own weight upon me, but to no avail. Having exerted their strength to it's utmost ability, I stand unfeigned. Foiled, they curse and shriek at me. In hideous voices they call to me demanding to know what great power I possess to stand in defiance to them. They tell me of the pain they see in my eyes and yet scoff at my self-righteous choice to ignore it. I return to them silence.

Enraged and with some ill-gotten attempt to catch me off guard, they cast rocks at me, yet they shatter at my feet. Exhausted, my enemy has fallen to the floor and matched me in my silence. Now I answer them, "What authority have you, that I would answer to such a violent inquiry? What right have you upon my life? I answer none. There is no power or might in your possession that could destroy me or make me obey you. I speak not because of your commands, but to glorify the one in whom I have pledged my life. It is true your burden is heavy and your sting is a pang in my side. I am not self-righteous nor do I ignore the pain you have caused me. You have caused a great lament in my life and I have mourned at my loss. I am vulnerable and I am weak. My defenses would crumble at your slightest brush against me.

But I see you are confused. No doubt these things seem true to you. Do they not? Is my appearance not one of a servant? Am I not a mere man fallen in sin, weak and without strength? Ah but that is where the dichotomy lays. You have not asked of me whom I serve. I tell you the truth, my master and my lord governs the very earth to move. He commands the sun to burn and the moon to reflect its light. The very stars, celestial lights of the universe, are inflamed at the utterance of His mouth. With His breath He has given me life. Through His Son He has given me eternal life. It is true that I had fallen in sin, but I must tell you this, I have been set free by the blood of His Son and in His conquering over the one who sent you. Your master, death, can hold no power over the man who belongs to one Almighty. Ah, you have heard of Him haven't you? I see you tremble at reference to His authority. Kneel and behold the name of Christ Jesus my Lord. He has saved me from your grasp. It is because of Him that your inflictions are only temporal and your abuse not lethal to my soul. It is by His amazing grace that I am found righteous. My loving God has adopted me and made me His son. I am an heir of Christ and belong to Him alone. Yes, you may beat upon me and curse my name, but I will stand in the name of Christ and glorify my Heavenly Father, for I love God Almighty. May all of my worship be His forever.

Lord you sustain me, you empower me by your Spirit to seek your face in the midst of calamity. Because of your Son every affliction upon me shall be redeemed for your glory and your honor. May you be praised in my life today and forevermore. O my worthy Lord of Heaven. Amen.

My morning contemplation. Not perfectly worded, but my morning thoughts nonetheless :) No doubt it'll miss some things too. haha

2009-06-06T00:47:00.001-07:00

God Almighty. How wonderful! The God I love is almighty. He governs the universe to spin in perfect harmony. What perfection is this? The very planets move in orbit at His command. The faultless glory of one almighty has been made manifest in His creation. Not that the world is deserving of respect or worthy of His regal honor, but that which my God fabricates out of nothing must resound His splendor! Creation has been given beauty, goodness, complexity and in it's very makeup, the invisible qualities of my Lord are made known. How humble I am, that despite the wonder of all creation, I have been given His Image within me. My God, you have made me wonderful and I turned my face from you, yet you pursued me when I hid myself. You called after me in love and I have heard your voice. I lift my eyes and in beholding you, I cannot stand my own corruption. Tears would fill my own eyes in the very sight of my shame, but still you sit with me and still you talk to me. Who am I that God would love me? Who am I that God would die for me to take my place? Who am I to be welcomed into the very dwelling place of the most high God, to be called His son? I am worthy in Christ and only through Him. The Lord is good and is in no need to bless me, yet He chooses to out of love. How can I ever deserve or hope to earn His love? I cannot, yet He loves me despite my inabilities, for where I am weak, I am strong in Christ. I am His in Christ. A member of His Holy church. A son of the Most High and Almighty God. Creator of Heaven and Earth. My Father. My savior. I choose to love Him and seek to serve Him in all I do. When I look at Him, it is my joy and my honor to love Him. May all honor and glory be His forever. Amen. :)

His Cosmos.

My adoption into Christ

2009-05-10T22:57:00.001-07:00

A thought before bed

2009-01-04T00:32:00.000-08:00

A man given to pride is as a man lost at sea. Both desire sustentation and are destroyed by what they consume. As saltwater promises hydration and in turn destroys his body, so does the inward focus of pride destroy his soul.

May we turn to our holy and perfect Father, the only good and loving Creator, for our every thirst and need lest we unknowingly destroy ourselves. :) He is our ultimate and perfect end. May His name be praised!

In Christ, †††
-Brian Hinds

May we subsist in humble adoration of Him in His divine, undeniable, and righteous perfection!

A tribute to my father.

2009-01-04T00:30:00.000-08:00

As I was thinking through what I wanted to say at my father's service, I was getting so bogged down with memories and feelings and just couldn't seem to get something written down. The morning of the service, I ended up remembering, that it's not what I want to say that needs to be said, but what God wants me to say. I threw my pencil and pad down and started to pray. There were so many thoughts going through my mind that week, but God reminded me of two things He had been pressing on my heart: 1. Where my Father is and 2. What he has left behind.

1. I had to think about the first for a bit until it began to sink in. It is that my father is with our Heavenly Father. There is no doubt in my mind about this. This fact has crossed my mind so often but I must never forget that it is true. Heaven is real and by the perfect life, death, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are allowed to live with Him in paradise. Through the grace, mercy, and Love of God, that is where my father is. Any pain or suffering he had while here is gone and has received the full inheritance of sonship in Christ (Eph 1:13-14).

2. The second thing is that my father has left a legacy of love in every person that knew him or has heard his testimony. I seemed to echo the rest of my family at my father's service in mentioning a legacy of love, but it confirmed that it is true. He was a devoted son, a compassionate brother, a faithful husband, and to me and my siblings, a loving father. One thing he made clear to us kids is that he loved us unconditionally. After my Spring 08 finals finished, he decided to take me out for pizza to celebrate. This was another one of those, "don't tell mom!" sort of moments where the two of us ate a whole pizza. Haha. We went to Round Table as always and he told me how proud of me he was. To him I didn't have to be perfect for him to love me. He loved me no matter what. Through his life, he showed me how deep a father's love can be for a son and in doing so, has blessed me with a deeper understanding of what it means for my Heavenly Father to love me as well. His life echoed the life of Christ in love. I'm so glad the Lord allowed me to tell him the same thing he told me in my last words to him. I said, "Daddy, you have been the best role model that I could have ever asked for. You never once cursed God for what you have gone through, but have praised His name. You have impacted my life and even the lives of people you have never met". He kept looking at me and asked, "you think so?" I said, "I know so". He smiled at me and said, "I'm proud of you and I love you". Those are the last words he said to me.

My father is not here with us on this earth, but I can only rejoice, for he is with our Father in Heaven. In these last months, I have an extra fondness for the words of Paul "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2Tim 4:7). My dad fought indeed and by the grace of God through Christ, he too has won the race. I love my father and I, in return, can say, "I am proud of him".

-Brian Hinds

May we subsist in humble adoration of Him in His divine, undeniable, and righteous perfection.

A Mirror Creation

2007-01-26T00:35:00.000-08:00

The Trinity has been and will continue to be a difficult concept to grasp, for it cannot be physically studied. Dorothy Sayers relates it to what she calls “The creative trinity”. Although some Christians believe that nothing in creation resembles the Trinity, the creative trinity on earth resembles the Heavenly one because it was created by the Heavenly Trinity and contains characteristics of it. One example of their likeness is that both are threefold (Mind of the Maker 37). However, before one attempts to discuss whether the creative trinity and the Holy Trinity relate, he should first understand a bit, of what the two are separately.

The creative trinity is made up of three parts. The first part is the “Idea” (Mind of the Maker 37). The Idea, in the writer’s sense, is an idea for a story that has not yet been thought of by the writer. It is unacknowledged and not subject to form, process, or time. As one reads any story, he shall discover the mutual components shared amongst them. To be more precise, every idea holds, at least, goodness, truth, and beauty in common. Although one might claim that the relation of goodness, truth, and beauty to a story about mountain climbing, or rivaling countries is vague, mountains themselves are beautiful, and when God created them, He “saw that it was good” (Genesis 1:10). This story involves the goodness and beauty that God inlaid into the mountains and will most likely continue about how to better view its beauty. The rivaling countries are, just as the mountains, each beautifully made by God, and the conflict between them is a battle for good no matter how it may end. From here, one might recognize that if goodness, truth, and beauty are attributes of God, the idea, in turn, must resemble God.

The second part of the creative trinity is the “Energy” (Mind of the Maker 37). Through this Energy, the Idea is made known to man. When a writer thinks of an Idea or writes it down on paper, this is the Energy at work. Without Energy, the Idea remains unacknowledged. Dorothy Sayers says that Energy is concerned with that which has to do with, “consciousness”, “form”, “time”, or “process” (Mind of the Maker38). Upon hearing the distinction between the two, one might propose that there is no Idea, but only Energy. This is a welcome and important point, but when one writes a story and says that a certain part does not fit his book as a whole, he implies that there is an overruling authority governing how the story should be. The Energy points to a standard that the writer attempts to achieve. Energy cannot rule itself, but it is the Idea, which guides the writer to determine how his story should be.

Lastly, within the creative trinity is the “Power” (Mind of the Maker 38-39). Power interprets what the Energy represents by conveying the meaning of the story to the reader. It provides understanding of what the characters, words, plot, and physical pages of the book are trying to convey. Power is vital to the creative trinity, for without it, man would have no understanding of the Idea and the book would be a purposeless book on a shelf. All three parts of the creative trinity must be present in order to create a book, for without the Idea, there is nothing to represent or interpret, without Energy, the Idea is unacknowledged, and without Power comes ignorance. Through the Energy, Power is able to make the Idea understood. The creative trinity, in these ways, resembles the Heavenly one.

Like the creative trinity, the Holy Trinity is threefold. C. S. Lewis, a popular theist in the twentieth century, calls the trinity a “three-personal being” (Mere Christianity 162). He says that just as a three-dimensional cube is made up of six two-dimensional squares, the one being Trinity is made up of three persons (Mere Christianity 162). These three persons are God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. God the Father, which the Idea symbolizes in the creative trinity, is incomprehensible, and not subject to form, process, or time by himself. As the Idea is composed of goodness, truth, and beauty so is God, for the Bible says that God is “good”, “true”, and “beautiful” (Luke 18:19; 1 John 5:20; Psalms 27:4). Just how all that is created by the creative trinity reflects the idea, and is made physical Energy, all of creation reflects the Father and by the Son, it is brought into existence.

The Son is the second person of the Holy Trinity. He represents God the Father and makes Him tangible to man. He is the physical and mental form of God who deals with consciousness, form, time, and process. Without the Son, God the Father would remain incomprehensible to man. One might consider it incorrect to say that without the Son, the Father would be incomprehensible to man, since before the manifestation of Christ, man knew of God and talked with him. This is true, but what one must remember is that the Son is not only the physical form of God, but the mental form as well and before His birth, he still existed. For the Bible says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God” (John 1:1-2). The Son is the mental form that allows man to acknowledge the existence of God, for the Bible says, “no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him” (Matthew 11:27). This is the same to any accusations against the creative trinity as well, for just how the Son was not created at His manifestation, the Energy is not created at the manifestation of a story, but exists before it.

The third and last person of the Holy Trinity is the Holy Spirit. He interprets what Jesus taught. Through Jesus the Holy Spirit able to give man understanding about the Father. The Holy Spirit guides and teaches man about the word of Christ, for Christ Himself said, “He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you” (John 16:14). The Holy Spirit is a part of the Trinity and the Bible speaks of those who will and have “received” Him (Acts 8:17). It is by the Holy Spirit that communion with God has been restored to man.

Although a man may suggest that one can separate the trinity in order to understand it, the three parts of the trinity are inseparable. Man can never begin to comprehend an incomprehensible God without all its parts. It is impossible to separate the trinity in order to look at one part, but through two, a man may distinguish one. It is by the Son and the Holy Spirit that mankind learns of the Father. One might question this seeing that the Israelites knew God before Christ. This is an important point, because it may bring clarification and validity to the previous statement. Before Christ was manifested, not all were able to know God personally. Although the Israelites were God’s chosen people, only the holiest of Priests were allowed in God’s presence and He chose certain people to reveal Himself to. Through Christ’s death and resurrection, every man is allowed in the presence of God and may converse with Him through prayer. The Bible says that Christians have been “buried” in “baptism” and “raised with him in faith” (Col. 2:12).

One might declare the creative trinity irrelevant to the Holy Trinity because multiple kinds of stories exist. This would mean that multiple Energies manifest the Idea each in its own way and implies multiples Sons of God. This acts against Christian doctrine, for there is only one Christ. This is true, but the fact that different stories are made does not mean that there is more than one Idea, Energy, or Power. Since the Idea is composed of three parts, it is represented in different ways. The idea contains goodness, truth, and beauty. From these, Energy is able to manifest different stories such as Hamlet, The Lord of the Rings, The Republic, and etcetera. Every story must contain the goodness, truth, and beauty of God. A story missing one of the three is like a book missing a chapter. The characters, plot, words, and pages would be representing an incomplete idea.

When man creates, he uses the creative trinity that reflects the Heavenly one. When a man looks upon creation and has learned to see the goodness, truth, and beauty of God that is incorporated within, he catches a glimpse of the master at work. Through the creative trinity, one can see the fingerprints of God upon all of creation. As a story must be in alignment with goodness, truth, and beauty as its Idea in order for it to be the true story that the writer intended, man must be in alignment with God in order to live as God intends them to. May God guide man in his seeking to learn of the trinity, for when he does, he shall receive a better understanding of who God is. When one sees the complexity and beauty in creation through the creative trinity at work, he shall receive joy from learning a bit more of His God.

The Excellent Beauty!

2006-12-18T14:30:00.001-08:00

Such a lovely topic. Can beauty be defined? I believe yes, to an extent. I spent most of the day last Monday thinking about this question. Before asking if beauty can or cannot be defined, I asked, "What is a definition? How does one go about defining anything?". I came up with this, and tell me what you think.

In order for man to acknowledge and remember his experience with beauty, he must retain in his mind all emotions, images, and words that it provokes. When he stores in his psyche that which accurately conveys his relation and experience with beauty, he may remember it. Man can have memory of his experience with beauty in one of two means. He may remember beauty in the physical as well as the spiritual realm. For example, a man may remember the beauty in his wife as well as the beauty in his love for Christ. Man will not attribute all to the spiritual realm that he does to the physical. He will remember the beauty in the spiritual realm by attributing only words and emotions to it, for except by Christ he has, by no means, perceived the spiritual in human form. He will attribute the same for the physical realm save for one additional property. Along with words and emotions, a man will attach in his mind, a mental image of the physical properties of an entity. A man will remember the nightstand in his bedroom by the mentioning of its name, which then rouses the mental image and his emotion towards it and vice versa. All emotions, pictures, and words are accumulated into the memory so that one may recall an experience of an object or the divine at another point in time. If a man were not competent in doing so, he would never be aware of what he encounters, and would have no knowledge of it. He may see another man, yet when he turns his eyes away, he will have no recognition of ever having seen him. God has bestowed upon man the gift of memory and definition in order that man may behold Him in His divine sublimity and beauty as well as in that which he has created. Beauty must, at least to some degree, be able to be defined; otherwise, man would have no knowledge of it. Though a man may accurately define beauty, he may not completely define it. It is for the same reason why one cannot fully define his neighbor; though he may know a great deal about him, he has not experienced the life of his neighbor from within. He is neither beauty nor its creator. When one realizes his inability to fully and completely define beauty, he attains an idea of how vast and great the splendor of God is upon the human understanding. He has a far greater chance to contain the earth into a one-foot square container then to fully define and comprehend God. God does not define beauty, beauty defines God; it shines upon man a dim reflection of His absolute, undeniable, and righteous perfection.

I leave you open to annihilate my theory if you will. Do not hold back, for it is not by the preservation and praise of false claims that truth is found. 8)

In Christ, †††
-Brian

On My Conviction

2006-11-29T23:02:00.001-08:00

I accepted Christ when I was around five years of age. As I watched a movie about the Revelation with my parents, I asked them what was happening. They told me that the movie was about the future and proceeded to explain the rapture. They then told me about God and how He loves me. They told me, if I had faith that Christ came to earth to die on the cross for my sins, that I would spend eternity with Him (John 3:16). I attempted to understand as much as I could for a five year old. However, since I was five, I could only comprehend so much. I believed in Christ, but I did not understand how this knowledge would affect my life.

About ten years went by, and the ignorance of my faith continued to persist, until one day when my Youth Pastor mentioned how one’s faith should be real in his life. He said that I should not consider my faith as a religion, but as an intimate relationship with God. This had been told to me before and had always gone in one ear and then out the other, yet this time it stuck. I came to reality with my faith. I pondered this, and found it intriguing to think that God wishes to have a personal connection with me. The very same God that created everything; the universe, matter, thought, reason, and my very soul itself. He knows who I am and loves me in spite of the sin that corrupts my life. John 3:16 begins with, "For God so loved the world". The thought that God can love a corrupted human race that deserves death is amazing! I opened my Bible and began to read about salvation. I discovered that by God’s great love, I have been born again, and through this, my spirit has been made alive with Christ; I learned that it is by his grace, that I am saved (John 3:5-6; Ephesians 2:4-5). I then realized that all my life I was trying to live up to certain expectations in order to please God and yet continued to fail. I then lost hope, thinking that God would never be pleased with me. I then put on a facade, telling everyone that I was fine, even convincing myself. Yet, I remained in my despair. Grace, it is by His grace! If I were perfect, I would not need grace. God loves me despite my failure. With this new perspective on my life, I re-examined my faith.

I asked myself whether not my faith was indeed a real part of my life. As a Christian, was I behaving any differently than I had as a non-believer? If not, then not only was my faith not influencing my life, but I was atrophying spiritually. I decided to put a stop to this. I knew that I should desire to be different, for if I truly love Christ, I should have a passion to emulate him, not the world. At that moment, I rededicated my life to Christ. I would from then on seek God with all my heart and devote my life to Him. I prayed that God would continually increase my passion to fill even the minute capacity that I have for the knowledge of Him and that He would increase my capacity for it. I would seek after his divine goodness, truth, and beauty. I vowed to be wholly dependant upon Him and to allow Him to have absolute reign in my heart.

My attitude towards life was greatly influenced by 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So, run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified”. It showed me that I must live my life as if I were in a race and continue to discipline myself, so that I will not lose the eternity with God that I seek to obtain. I continually pray that God would guide me in my seeking of Him and that He would continue to give me the strength, wisdom, and guidance to enable my logic and reason to rule my desires and passions through the heart that I have submitted to Him.

-Brian

A Dying Art

2006-11-22T22:10:00.000-08:00

A rolling of the eyes, a sigh of disgust, a disengagement of interest; these are a few responses that will often be received when the passion of his/her faith amongst his/her friends. When questions that entail deep thought are asked, quick and short answers are given so that the conversation may continue in a more "interesting" and "exciting" manner. A sad truth is that these are not given only by non-Christians, but they are far too often given by fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Too many Christians look down upon these men and women for attempting to hold an edifying and important conversation. They are regarded as, "annoying" and/or "boring".

Christians claim to be seeking God, and yet turn the other way when serious contemplation is involved. They believe that to seek God is easy or at least something that doesn't involve one's intellect. If "seeks God" by trying not to mess up as best as possible so he/she can get to Heaven, then he/she has the wrong perspective. If he has a sincere passion to be intimate with God, he will desire to emulate Christ in all he does. What does intimacy with God mean? Intimacy means to be close, dear or personal. When one is Intimate with God, he desires to know God by being personal, dear, and personal with Him. This is not an easy feat; for no one can fully understand God. If the anchient philosophers must wrestle with their knowledge of God and admit that they know a mere handful of who He is, then how can a generation that detests understanding ever hope to be Intimate with Him. Our culture is content to remain where it is.

One must understand that his passion to learn of God is born when he asks God to set his heart to seek after Him. With this passion, he will gradually see the joy in understanding; for with it, one may learn a bit of who God is. He is given a new perspective on creation, for he now sees it as a beautiful creation reflecting the majesty and loving care of our Heavenly Father.

May the Lord find favor in those who truly seek Him. May He set ablaze those who are no longer content to remain a tiny flicker of flame for His name. May the Lord turn these fading cinders into a raging fire to impact the world for Christ! Ah, as we continue our journey in this dying art of contemplation and the seeking of goodness, truth, and beauty, may the Lord make our desire to fill even our minute capacity for the understanding of God be truly passionate and may it ever increase. May the Lord inspire our desires of our stomach to develop the intelligence of our minds with a true heart to submit ourselves to the majesty of the true king of all things! Amen!

-Brian

Failure

2006-11-18T19:22:00.001-08:00

The word "fail" tends to bring a negative feeling to our thoughts. When we discover our failure, we cringe and try to make excuses for why we are not at fault. Why must we make believe that we are perfect? Our self-pride builds a defensive wall against the truth. Pride tries to induce us with a false illusion of our self-righteousness. One’s faults are considered a mere reaction to a society that has treated him badly. Our society excuses this attitude due to an outside factor. When God eliminates a man's self-pride, he is grateful to be made aware of his faults, for he is then able to bring them before God.

When one says, "I have failed", he is really saying that he has not met a certain standard that has been set over him. To fail is to be human, for it is man’s human nature to sin; yet this is not how God intended us to live. God made us to be in constant communion with Him, without sin. The sin of Adam and Eve caused the fall of man and the separation between God and his creation; yet, through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, communion with God has been restored to those who believe in Him. We strive to be like Christ, and yet our sinful nature places our priorities out of order. We place our desires and aversions over our dependence and trust in God.

When one struggles with a sin, he tends to become a slave to it. He asks, “Why is it that when I try to seek God, I can’t fix my corruption?” this question almost answers itself. The answer is that we cannot fix our own corruption. Only God may has the power and righteousness to do this. When we try on our own, we will fail; for when we are apart from God, it is our nature to be corrupt. We must allow God to work though us to fix the problem.

We must be in constant fellowship with God. When our focus and trust is turned to ourselves, we are hopeless to stand against sin. God must give us the power and strength to stand strong in Him against temptation.

May we set aside our pride and admit our faults. We must realize that it is futile to attempt to correct our corruption on our own. Know that all that is good comes from God. Allow Him to work in and through you.

My God, I pray that you would help us to seek you in all that we do. May we be in constant reminder of your awesomeness in all of creation. May we be fascinated even by the smallest of your creations, for in them we find such a complex and intricate design and become even more overwhelmed with the more majestic. Thank you for giving us eyes to see this earthly reflection of your perfect goodness, truth, and beauty. God navigate our minds as we think together. May you be praised in all that we do.

God bless you as you continue to be led by him. Seek his face! May you live your faith in the body of Christ and make it personal. Be real in all that you do and continue to remove the masks that hide your true self. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord God Almighty. Do all this with humility, for you may do nothing on your own. May all this be done in Christ and for his glory. God Bless!

-Brian

The Confessions of Saint Augustine

2006-11-18T19:20:00.001-08:00

Great art Thou, O Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is Thy power, and Thy wisdom infinite. And Thee would man praise; man, but a particle of Thy creation; man, that bears about him his mortality, the witness of his sin, the witness that Thou resistest the proud: yet would man praise Thee; he, but a particle of Thy creation. Thou awakest us to delight in Thy praise; for Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee. Grant me, Lord, to know and understand which is first, to call on Thee or to praise Thee? and, again, to know Thee or to call on Thee? for who can call on Thee, not knowing Thee? for he that knoweth Thee not, may call on Thee as other than Thou art. Or, is it rather, that we call on Thee that we may know Thee? but how shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? or how shall they believe without a preacher? and they that seek the Lord shall praise Him: for they that seek shall find Him, and they that find shall praise Him. I will seek Thee, Lord, by calling on Thee; and will call on Thee, believing in Thee; for to us hast Thou been preached. My faith, Lord, shall call on Thee, which Thou hast given me, wherewith Thou hast inspired me, through the Incarnation of Thy Son, through the ministry of the Preacher.

-Saint Augustine